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Headline Translation Service

Sponsored today by the country of Iraq: "Heeeeeeeeeeelllllllllpppp!!!!!"

Bush Keeps Iraq Options Open But Secret
Translation: Pudgy Middle-Eastern Despot Despoils His Drawers

American Taliban Fighter Pleads Not Guilty
Translation: BA HA HA HA HA HA!!! *gasp* HOO HOO HEE HEE HA HA!!! *snerk* WHOO HOO HOO HAA HAAAAAAA!!!

Milosevic Scorns War Crimes Trial as 'Lynching'
Translation: Ex-Despot Who Specialized In "Ethnic Cleansing" Oblivious To Irony

Iran Reportedly Arrests Fleeing Al Qaeda Fighters
Translation: Please Don't Bomb Us! Look, We're Helping!!

House Nears Campaign Finance Vote
Translation: Blah, Blah, Blahdy Blah

Tyson Granted Boxing License In Georgia
Translation: Southern State Full Of Shit

They're Still Friends
Translation: Six Skinny White People Now Richer Than God

O'Donnell Expected to Address Sexuality on Air
Translation: Talk Show Host States The Obvious

*LATE BREAKING NEWS*

Lay sells house for $10M
Translation: Bush Continues To Support His Connection

EXPLOSIVE ARAFAT PULLS GUN ON AIDE
Translation: "I'm funny how? I mean funny like I'm a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? What do you mean funny? Funny how? How am I funny?"

Posted 02/13/02 in Headline Translation Service
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